Between Innocence and Danger
by Mardre Ebridge
Summary: When Edith is about to marry Dr. Alan McMichael, is Sir Thomas Sharpe still an issue for her? Is he still out there?
1. Chapter 1

**Between innocence and danger.**

Staring at her reflection in the mirror, there were two things Edith Cushing-Sharpe knew for sure; one was that, after today, she would live safe and peacefully from now on. The other was that Thomas Sharpe and the Sharpe name would be dropped from her life. She would become Mrs. Alan McMichael only an hour away from now. It was something she hadn't expected either, it had grown over time. Her ordeal at Allerdale Hall had been a little over a year now. Alan had taken care of her since then; making sure that all arrangements had been made when it came to her becoming a widow. _Widow…_ It sounded so strange in her head. She still thought of him sometimes… the way he would look at her… the way he would touch her with is gentle hands… She shook her head. After all that he had done, it was unwise to think of him in that way. Yes, Thomas Sharpe had been a tortured soul, brutalized by his sister when he was a child. But he could have stopped her as an adult. He went along with Lucille's plans, which made him an accomplice to murder. He had seduced her for her money, knowing what his sister would do to a new bride once the money had been handed over to them. No, Thomas Sharpe was far from innocent. But still, when she thought of their one night together… The night that had shaken all three of them; Edith, Thomas and Lucille, to their core.

In hindsight, it was that night that had changed things for all of them. She herself had opened herself up to Thomas completely. Thomas had fallen in love for the very first time in his life… and Lucille… Lord, it had made her realize that her brother wasn't hers to keep.

It seemed almost strange, as Alan had been a friend to her most of her life and nothing more. Thomas had been the only man to ever touched her intimately. To have another man touch her that way… Well, Thomas was never coming back, so there was no reason to feel odd about it.

When Edith thought of Lucille, she still shuddered. The thought that she herself had taken a life… Well, now wasn't the time to think about that. It was time to get married to a man who would take care of her and who didn't hide literal skeletons in his closet.

She smiled as she watched her wedding gown flow past her body. It was ivory, with a proper bodice, concealing her shoulders. Her hair had been casually pulled up in a loose bun. She looked beautiful and radiant, even if she said so herself.

"Are you quite ready, dear?" Mrs. McMichael said, as she peeked her head around the corner. Edith smiled at her.

"Yes, I'll be right out."

Mrs. McMichael still wasn't too fond of Edith. She thought her future daughter in law was too free spirited for her son. A woman who had waited so long to marry and who wrote bestselling books… But since at least one of those things would be rectified tonight, she behaved courteously.

"Time to get married," she whispered to her own reflection.

Edith lifted up her gown and made way towards the exit, when a noise made her stop. She turned her head, but saw nothing. That was odd. She was sure it had come from the far corner of her room.

"Is someone in here with me?" she asked.

No response. She almost laughed at herself. Lord, Crimson Peak seemed to still be with her at times. Apparently, she _still_ heard ghosts in the background. Smiling, she turned towards the door.

"Don't do it," a voice whispered softly.

Okay, now she definitely heard _that._ "Show yourself!" she hissed, a bit more stand offish now that she had experienced the dark nooks and crannies of Allerdale Hall. Still, what came out of the shadows of this room had her nowhere near prepared. When the tall and dark figure stepped into the light, she fell backwards against the door, the dark wood ramming into her back.

"you've got to be joking," she stammered.

His eyes bored into hers while his presence was overpowering. He was exactly as she remembered him; dark, careless hair, blue eyes, and a secretive small smile. She put a hand to her heart, willing it to calm down. Was he a ghost? Was she still able to see them? Because ghosts hadn't visited her again after her ordeal in England.

He slowly strode forward until he stood in front of her. She could feel the heat radiating from his body as he moved into her personal space, his breath close to her face. Was this a dream?

"Thomas?"

Her voice sounded incredibly breathy, almost like a groan, as his hand reached up to touch her cheek with the tip of his thumb. As soon as she felt the contact, she realized that he was very real, and sank into his arms, passing out momentarily.

It only lasted seconds, before the world around her became clear again. Thomas was still holding onto her, while she rested heavily on his arms. He smiled at her as her eyes settled on him. "You're alive?" she whispered. He nodded slowly, searching her face for a reaction. Disbelief and yes, she had to admit, slight joy turned into anger as she realized he had hid the fact that he had survived Lucille's attack for over a year. Where had he been?

She pushed him off of her, glaring at him. "You wait until my wedding day to reveal to me that my _husband_ is still alive? Do you have the slightest idea what I've been through this year? Where were you? How is this even possible?"

"I am aware that my timing is unfortunate. However, when it came to my attention that my wife was on the verge of being wed to someone else, I had to move quickly."

Edith shook her head. "Otherwise what? You wouldn't have told me right now? Or maybe you wouldn't have told me at all?"

Thomas looked down, clearly thinking of what to say.

"You do owe me an explanation, Thomas."

"I know. When I woke up after Lucille… You were gone and she was… For a while I thought you would be better off without me. Yes, I let you think that I had passed."

His idea of her better off without him almost pained her. Yes, he would think that. After everything that had happened, the relationship between them would be more than difficult. She wasn't even sure if she could ever forgive him… if she could look past the things he and his sister had done. There was too much history to delve into, and she didn't think that Thomas would ever heal from his ordeals or that she would be able to help him through it. It was just all too much.

"I did keep tabs on you, though. I loved your book about Crimson Peak. It was a good romantic story with a ghost in it," Thomas confessed.

Edith couldn't help the smile that crept up on her face. "You read my book?" she asked in a quiet voice.

Thomas smiled shyly, looking down.

For a moment there, the air crackled with the tension between them. Edith could feel her stomach doing strange things inside of her, while her cheeks seemed to turn bright red on their own accord. Then, her thoughts halted her.

His sister had killed her father. He had known about it and had knowingly seduced her afterwards, whisking her away to a hill. She could compare it to his sister being the spider and him being the maker of the web. He had cocooned her in it, waiting for his sister to finish her off. Too much had happened. No matter what she may or may not still have felt for him in that moment… it couldn't happen. Of course, if that wasn't reason enough to stop this, her pending marriage was.

"So now you do _not_ think I am better off without you? You want to be husband and wife? There's a man out there waiting for me to make a commitment to him. I promised him. What do you propose I do? He can offer me stability and safety. I do not have to worry about him coming up with bodies of former wives, covered in clay. What I saw in Allerdale Hall, Thomas. I will never be able to forget it. I've had nightmares about it. Maybe…" she paused for a second.

"Maybe what?" Thomas asked, capturing her gaze.

"Maybe we are both better off if we let things be. I will marry Alan and you can make a new life for yourself, without your sister. You can find a nice woman and built something new. You are free now, Thomas. You'll never have to look towards the past again."

Something dark crept over Thomas's face as he took in her words. He stepped forward and backed her up against the door, glaring into her eyes. It was a look she had never seen on him.

"Do you want to know why I came back for you? Because the thought of another man touching you is enough to make my stomach turn inside of me. I will die before I let Alan McMichael lay one finger on you. I was your first and I will be your last. You. Are. Mine."

Thomas stressed the last three words, making sure that she had heard them. Oh yes, she had heard them indeed. While his outburst should have infuriated her, it seemed to send red hot flares throughout her body, ending somewhere between her legs. Her physical response to him was embarrassing! She blushed furiously.

"I stopped being yours the moment you allowed your sister to poison me," she snapped at him.

The way his head whipped back after her remark was almost like she had struck him. Sadness appeared in his eyes, while she saw him swallow with difficulty. It almost made her feel sorry for her comment… almost. But he knew she was telling the truth. He had known about what Lucille had been putting into her tea. He had never stopped a thing his sister did.

"Darling? Is everything okay? Everybody's waiting," a voice outside the door interrupted their heated conversation. It was Alan.

Edith sighed, eying Thomas warily. "I'm supposed to get married today. Why did you have to come and shake everything up?" she whispered, so Alan wouldn't hear them.

"You're right. Alan can offer you safety and stability. He can offer everything I failed to give you in England. I will go, but not before you know this: I came back because I love you. I've spent the last year making something of myself. I've left Allerdale Hall, came to America and opened up a shop, displaying my craftsmanship. You've seen what I made in the attic. I'm doing really well for myself."

"Thomas..," Edith began to interrupt his words, but Thomas would have none of it and continued.

"I've watched the two of you together. You don't feel the passion for him that you feel for me. He doesn't make your heart beat faster, nor does he arouse you. When you look at him, I don't see love for a future husband. I see friendship, that's all it will ever be. So go ahead and marry him, but you will never feel this again."

He finished his tirade by swooping down and firmly pressing his lips against hers. Edith was shocked and wanted to push him off of her, putting her hands to his chest. But when Thomas deepened the kiss and swept his tongue into her mouth, all the protest she could produce was a low moan. It was so familiar to feel his tongue gently massaging hers, that she seemed to forget all that he had done and that her future husband was knocking on the very door they were leaning against. A fire started in her loins that was impossible to extinguish.

"Edith? Is someone in there with you?" Alan's voice finally sank in.

Startled by her own behavior, Edith finally pushed Thomas off of her. Before she had a chance to address what he had done… what they had done, Alan pushed the door open and Thomas slipped back into the shadows of the room.

"Edith, what's going on? Why are you so late? People are waiting," Alan began.

His voice seemed very remote to Edith, she could barely hear him. She began to feel lightheaded and her legs could barely hold her up.

"Good lord, Edith. You look as pale as a ghost."

She wanted to laugh at his comment; a ghost, yes indeed. Her very own ghost of a husband had come back to haunt her and he would not be letting up. Her stomach seemed to turn and churn and her head… her head was…

That was her last thought before she sank into a dark abyss, dropping to the floor….

 _Author's note: Was Thomas real? Will the wedding really happen? Please leave a review and find out what happens in the next chapter._


	2. Chapter 2

**Author's note:** First of all, I wanted to thank each and every one of you for reading, reviewing and basically, giving me a chance in this fandom. I realize I am very new and didn't come here with any expectations. However, for some reason the movie… and particularly Thomas Sharpe… inspired me so much that I had to write about it. So here's the second chapter. Hope you all like it. A careful warning: This story is rated M for a reason. An R-rated movie deserves an M-rated story ;-)

 **The reality of it all**

"Sweetheart, can you hear me?" a voice resounded somewhere in the distance. Edith felt as if she were a million miles away. No coherent thought could be formed, except for one; _he_ had been here.

"Edith, come on. Wake up for me."

Edith groaned, trying to focus her eyes on the person in front of her. "Thomas," she whispered. As soon as her vision became a little clearer, she could see that it wasn't him. It was Alan. She peered behind him, realizing it was just them in the room.

She slowly came to the realization that Alan had placed her on the sofa. He was sitting next to her, obviously relieved that she had woken up. But where was Thomas?

"There you are. How are you feeling?" Alan asked, drawing her attention back on him. He had a concerned look on his face, mixed with something else. Something she couldn't quite put her finger on. Maybe it was because she had whispered _his_ name.

Feeling guilty, she sat up a little more and gave Alan a pained smile. "I am so sorry. I don't know what came over me. How charming, having a fainting spell on our wedding day."

"Nonsense, Edith, you can't be at fault for fainting. I am taking you home. You've hit your head when you fell and it took you some time to wake up. I fear that you might have a concussion. Once you're in bed, I'm going to have a look at you."

It was then that Edith realized something of great importance; their wedding. What time was it? Were the guests still waiting? "We should get back to our wedding. I have taken up quite some time," she frantically said.

Alan leaned forward and took her hands in his, giving her a calm smile. "I've let mother tell the guests that the wedding will be a bit delayed. You need to heal first."

Edith paled. "What? No. We need…"

"Edith, I won't back down on this. You need the rest. I'm not marrying a woman who has a concussion," Alan insisted. "Do you know what caused you to faint?"

Edith looked down, biting her lip. How could she explain that when she didn't even understand it herself?

"It's okay, you can tell me," Alan urged. "Did you have pre wedding jitters?"

"Thomas was here," she blurted out.

Alan frowned at her, surprised by her outburst. He searched her eyes quietly, clearly thinking of what to say. "Darling, you know that is impossible."

Edith stood up from the sofa, beginning to pace the room. "I'm not so sure that it is impossible, Alan. We just assumed, because I thought I saw his ghost back in England. Have the authorities searched Allerdale Hall properly? What was the report on that? Maybe Thomas survived Lucille's malicious attack and hid for a while."

Alan went to stand in front of her and put a hand on her cheek, trying to calm her down with a gentle smile on his face.

"Is this because you still feel guilty over Lucille? Darling, you know you did the right thing. It was self defense. The authorities agreed with you on that front. She killed all those women and Thomas as well."

Edith shook her head. "This isn't because of Lucille. I saw him in this very room."

"Maybe you saw his ghost?" Alan proposed. "Look, darling. You've hit your head quite hard. Could your mind possibly be playing tricks on you?"

Edith sighed.

"Look, I am so sorry for this. The last thing I wanted was to ruin our wedding day. You know I love you, but you also know I wouldn't lie to you. Thomas was most certainly here. He even told me about opening up a shop for his craftsmanship."

Alan still looked a bit skeptical. Edith realized in that moment that he wasn't going to believe her and felt frustration bubbling up. This wasn't getting her anywhere.

"I'm sorry. Maybe you're right. Maybe I was imagining things, because this year has been a little overwhelming for me. It's not every day that you marry someone who had the initial intention to deliver you to the evil clutches of his sister once you've handed over all of your money. I just got lucky that Thomas saw the errors of his ways once he fell in love with me."

Alan sighed and put his arms around her. "I understand if this year has been too much for you. I love you too, Edith. I always will. If you need a little more time then that's what I can give to you. You need to rest after your fall anyway."

Okay, now she felt just flat out horrible. Maybe she shouldn't have told him about Thomas. Maybe she should have just told him it was pre wedding jitters. She hung her head in shame.

"It's alright, Edith."

"No, it's not alright. I've hurt you," she stammered.

Alan put his hands on her shoulders and smiled. "Look, I can wait. If you need the proof that Allerdale Hall is really gone from your life, Thomas Sharpe included, before you can marry me, then I will find that proof for you. When we get married in a few weeks, I want there to be nothing holding us back."

Edith sank back down onto the sofa and put her head in her hands. "You're too good for me," she mumbled.

Suddenly, the door smacked open, revealing an angry Mrs. McMichael.

"Would you mind telling me what happened here? I've had to turn away hundreds of guests and they are already gossiping," she snapped.

"Mother, I've already told you that Edith is not well. I'm taking her home to get some rest. The wedding will happen on another day," Alan calmly informed her.

If Mrs. McMichael's eyes got any bigger in that moment, Edith thought they would've popped out. She cowered into the couch, dreading the outburst that was surely to come in a matter of seconds.

"Another day? Not well? Are you joking? Do you have any idea what a marriage postponement will do to our name in society! We will be the talk of the town! I was never very fond of you anyway, Miss Cushing. But I won't let you do this to my son just because of some case of cold feet!"

"Mother! You will not talk to Edith that way. This was a mutual decision, based on her health. I won't marry someone who is not well. That is not fair," Alan scolded his mother.

"What is not fair is how society will speak of us due to this girl. First, she seduces the man who had initially set eyes on my daughter. Then, she disregards my son on their wedding day!"

"You might want to reconsider that first phrase, mother. If she had gone to Allerdale Hall instead of Edith, I don't think she would've come back. Did you want that for her?"

Mrs. McMichael didn't know how to reply to that and stared at her son.

"I didn't think so. Now, would you be so kind to step outside and make sure that the guests will receive another invitation shortly? Thank you," Alan finished their conversation.

Mrs. McMichael raised her chin and turned towards the door, leaving the room.

"Well, now I have also managed to get you into an argument with your mother," Edith sighed, disliking herself even more by the second.

"She was out of line. Come on, I'm taking you home…."

For her, home was with a very old friend of her family. Since she and Alan weren't married, it wasn't proper to be living under the same roof. Her father's house had been sold during her marriage to Thomas, so she had needed a place to stay. Adriana McMillan had stepped up to take her in. She was a 60 year old widow with a mind of her own. Edith loved her to bits.

"I'm an evil woman," Edith sighed.

"Oh nonsense, child!" Adriana was in her bedroom with her, both of them drinking some calming tea. "If the roles were reversed.. I mean, if it were Alan that had hit his head, you would've also understood that a delay was necessary, right? He has already said to you that he is willing to wait for you." Edith smiled at Adriana's sweet words.

"Has Alan told you about what I saw? I mean, right before I hit my head?"

Adriana looked down and stirred her tea. "You mean about Thomas Sharpe still being alive? Yes, he has informed me."

"Do you believe me when I say that I saw something in that room?"

"I don't know, love. Maybe you have seen something, but you've hit your head pretty hard. I will have you know, however, that if Thomas Sharpe _would_ still be alive, I would hunt him down with a shovel," Adriana deadpanned.

Edith almost spilled her tea in laughter. "Thomas could have handled things differently, yes."

"Handled things differently? That's putting it mildly, child. Anyway, Alan has talked to me about using the same private investigator your father has. He wants to put England to rest for once and for all."

"He's so good to me. I don't know if I could have been so compliant in a situation like this. He has saved me, you know. After the year I've had.. I might have lost my mind if it wasn't for him. What I feel for him is so different from what I felt for Thomas," Edith explained.

Adriana sat down on the bed with her and looked into her eyes. "Different? How do you mean?"

"Well," Edith began. "With Alan I feel safe and cared for. Like I said, he has saved me on so many levels. I feel deep affection towards him. With Thomas…"

She almost blushed with what she had to say next.

"With Thomas it is very raw... consuming, almost. He turns me inside out and I don't think that is healthy."

Adriana seemed to ponder this, before giving an answer.

"Do you still love Thomas?"

It was a simple question, but it startled Edith to her core. Love? She detested all that he had done. She detested the fact that he could have done more to stop his sister. But most of all, she detested the fact that she did not hate him. She couldn't hate him for some reason. So did that mean that she still loved him? She honestly couldn't say.

Adriana smiled at her silence. "I'll let you figure that one out, dear. Finish your tea and get some rest. You've had quite a day."

 _She had him exactly where she had wanted him; they were alone and away from Allerdale Hall and his sister. The room they were in was romantically lit with a few candles here and there. Most importantly; there was one bed and Thomas wouldn't be able to sleep somewhere else, as he seemed to have done for several nights now._

 _She honestly couldn't read him or say why he disappeared when it was nighttime. But she did feel something between them. She had felt it for the first time when they had been alone in the attic for a few moments. Thomas had been in his workshop and she had walked in. He had shown her one of his favorite works and, while she had been watching it, she had felt his eyes on her. The way he had looked at her was intoxicating, as if he was seeing something for the very first time. Then, they had kissed. Not just a simple peck, as they had done a couple of times before. But a real, raw and passionate kiss. His tongue had swept into her mouth, tasting her, while his hands had begun to explore her. He had groaned while the feel of their tongues touching had sent them both into a heated frenzy. Thomas had released her mouth to slide his lips delicately over the smooth skin of her neck. And then…. Lucille had walked in. It had taken everything in her not to scream out loud at the intrusion._

 _Now, there were no intrusions. She could easily take this moment and make it hers. So she did. She gently kissed him and then there was no stopping it; his mouth hungrily slid over hers. She slipped his suspenders from his shoulders and carefully opened up his shirt, revealing his impeccable, chiseled abs to her. Lord, he was so perfect. How could one man be made so perfectly? He kissed his way down her body, while she writhed on the bed, urging him to continue. Opening up her legs, he swept his tongue up and down the inside of her creamy thighs, making her softly moan. She didn't know where or how her undergarments had come off, but somehow, they were suddenly gone. The look in his eyes as he crawled back up her body was almost like an animal on the prowl, and it made something inside of her clench violently._

 _Their mouths were devouring each other by now, tongues rubbing and teeth almost clashing in their urge to consummate this marriage. Edith felt his manhood probe through his trousers and could only think of one thing; it needed to come off. She opened its' buttons and began to slide her hands down, taking the garment with her, until she felt his naked rear beneath her fingers. Thomas thrust up, making him come in contact with her femininity, and they both groaned out loud._

 _For some reason, Edith felt the need to claim him… make him hers. She wanted to guide this lovemaking between them, so she flipped them over and raised her skirts. Nothing could have prepared her for the feeling she had when she sank herself down onto his manhood. It was excruciating and delectable at the same time. She needed more, so much more. A rhythm began to build up between them as she moved her hips up and down on him. Thomas took the moment to raise his hand to her face and slid a stray strand of hair from her forehead, eying her gently as she sought out her pleasure… their pleasure._

" _I love you," he whispered breathily…._

Edith woke up in a sweat, her heart drumming in her chest as she realized what she had just been dreaming about. Her nipples pierced her nightgown and she felt something moist between her thighs.

Running a hand across her face, she tried to calm her breathing. Lord, this was embarrassing! Never in her life had she dreamt like this. It wasn't proper in the highest sense of the word! As she shifted, trying to untangle her legs from the sheets, she suddenly noticed that her bedroom window was open.

That was strange. She was sure that Adriana had closed it right before she had gone to sleep. She got out of bed and carefully padded towards the open window, glancing outside. The streets were dark and, save for a dog barking somewhere in the distance, it was eerily quiet.

A single candle was still burning in her room, casting shadows everywhere, and she suddenly had that same feeling again as when she had been preparing for her wedding; she wasn't alone. Her heart began to thump, while her head buzzed with her mild concussion.

A large shadow fell over her and for some reason, Edith wasn't scared. She almost knew what was to come; he was here… he had come for her.

Two strong arms encircled her from behind, while he placed his chin on her shoulder.

"I'm taking what is mine," he whispered into her ear….

 _Please leave a review and feed my muse._


	3. Chapter 3

**Author's note:** Again, I was amazed by the response to my little fic. Thank you so much! Now, as some of you noted; Thomas has been quite forward, seductive and yes… somewhat arrogant in his approach of Edith. One of you even mentioned a positive resemblance to Loki (Oh, how I love Loki! Always a sucker for the bad boys!). Of course, Thomas is a damaged man and has several sides to him. Seductive is one of them, but somewhat vulnerable is another, as we have seen in the movie. This chapter is about him opening up to Edith and explaining why he is the way that he is. WARNING: contains some information about his sordid relationship with Lucille (no details, though).

 **Thomas and Edith**

They were sitting across from each other in silence, each staring into the other's eyes. Edith wasn't afraid of him, but she was, however, very angry. Back in her bedroom, he had lifted her into his arms and carried her out of her own house. Then, she had been put into his carriage with no idea where they were heading off to. The ride hadn't taken long and now, they were here. She had no idea where 'here' was, though; they were sitting in some dark back room with a single candle burning.

"You do realize this is called abduction, right?" Edith told him. "You don't have the right."

Thomas leaned back and eyed her up and down, making her a bit uncomfortable. "I know my actions were a bit…"

"You behaved like a caveman with how you hoisted me over your shoulder and carried me off somewhere," Edith finished the sentence for him.

He smiled sheepishly at her words. "Yeah..," he trailed off. "I just… I just didn't know how I would be able to talk to you, I mean _really_ talk to you without interruptions, otherwise. There is a lot that we need to say to each other."

"You don't say," Edith replied, raising her eyebrows at him. "People will come to find me, you know. Have you forgotten that you and your sister miscalculated on that fact the very first time you took me to England? You were banking on me being alone, with no one left to care for me. Your sister made sure of that when she murdered my father. Of course, both of you didn't think of Alan coming to the rescue. He will find me again, you know? Him and Adriana, they won't stop looking. I'm sure she heard me as you carried me out."

Thomas got out of his seat and leaned over her, his hands leaning on both of her arm rests. "You're angry, I understand that. But if you really hadn't wanted to come along with me, you would have put up more of a struggle. I know you, Edith. I've seen you fight the demons of Allerdale Hall. Nobody gets you to do anything you don't want to do. You wanted to talk to me just as much as I wanted to talk to you."

Edith stared at him in silence; he had her there. She needed to know… She needed to know where he had been and how he had survived, but most of all: she needed to know about his past and why he had let Lucille have so much hold over him.

"Alright," she started. "Then we'll talk. What happened after Lucille stabbed you? Both of us were sure of your death."

Thomas stood up and began to pace the room, Edith following his every move.

"Lucille thought I was dead, yes. I had fallen unconscious for a little while and when I came to, my immediate reaction was to help you. I dragged myself towards the elevator and went downstairs. When I got to the front doors, however, I saw that you had defeated her. You were walking off with Alan somewhere in the distance and I called out."

He stopped momentarily to take a deep breath.

"You never heard me. I saw you looking back towards the house and for a moment there I started hoping that you would see me leaning in the doorway…. But you never did, and I watched as Alan took you away from the house. I will never forget that moment or how I felt as I watched you walk away."

Edith was at loss of what to say. She never knew… and she never saw him indeed. Otherwise she would have turned around to help him. Oh, now she felt guilty!

"I managed to get into the carriage and rode to the nearest hospital. It took me almost a day. When I got there, they sutured me and the rest is history. They said it was my rescue that I knew how to patch myself up somewhat. The wound on my face wasn't so bad, although it left a small scar."

Edith could indeed see the scar resting beneath his left eye. She felt the need to touch it for some reason, but refrained from doing so, remaining firm in her seat.

"In the hospital I started to think about my future… our future. I realized that, with everything that I had put you through, what my sister had put you through, you may never want to deal with me again. In the end, I thought that you would be better off without me," he finished.

"You see, this is what I don't get," Edith said as she finally got out of her seat and went to stand in front of him. "You had this idea in your head that I would be better off without you, but then you come back. You say it's because you can't stand the idea of another man touching me. Let me ask you again, if Alan hadn't proposed… would you have come back for me? Or would you have stayed dead?"

Thomas looked into her eyes with a pained expression on his face.

"I would have come back, because life had lost its' joy for me. Everything without you seemed bland and dead. We've only been together for a few months, but your spirit and liveliness had an everlasting impact on me. In the past year, women tried to gain my attention and I turned every single one of them away, because they weren't you. You've awakened something inside of me that I never knew existed. I've felt dead for so long, Edith. What my sister taught me was normal, wasn't normal and deep inside I knew that. But she was all I had and knew. Then, you came along and shook my very foundations. You made me see that there was more to the world than the house, Lucille and my inventions. You made me feel what real love could be like. I love you.. so much, Edith."

His voice broke on his last words to her and Edith felt so frustrated that she wanted to cry. Why was he doing this to her?

"This is so selfish of you, you know? It was selfish of you to let me think you were dead and now it's selfish of you to turn my life upside down after a year of silence. You've only thought about this from your point of view, but have you considered what this would do to me, or Alan for that matter? You come back and suddenly, I'm your wife again. Where does that leave the man I was supposed to marry? This is all very unfair of you," she confronted him.

Thomas looked down, not saying a word.

The thing Edith most desperately wanted to know and confront him about was the hardest thing to ask. She was also very afraid of his answer, but if she ever wanted to understand him and where he had come from, it was a question they couldn't avoid forever. She gathered up all of her courage and looked directly into his eyes.

"Since we're talking; there is something else bothering me, Thomas. It has plagued me since the moment I found out. When did you and her…? When did it first happen? How? Why?"

Thomas seemed taken aback by her forwardness and paled somewhat. He knew exactly what she was talking about. Suddenly, he turned around and walked away, leaving Edith behind in confusion.

"Thomas?" she whispered into the empty room.

He didn't respond and Edith felt like she had blown her chance to ever find out about the insanity that was Thomas and Lucille. Still, she didn't feel guilty for asking. If he wanted to move forward, this needed to be swept off of their, but more importantly _his_ , path.

Where was he? Light began to shine in the next room and Edith followed it, surprised by what she found on the other side of the door; wooden crafts everywhere, from bottom to ceiling and one even more beautiful than the other. Thomas had lit several candlesticks, giving the crafts a surreal glow. It was sensational and suddenly, Edith realized where he had taken her; his shop for his craftsmanship.

Her mouth almost fell open as she went to touch her fingers along several of his crafts; the details were exquisite. Thomas himself was sitting on a couch near one of the windows with a piece of his own work in his hands. He was eying it intently. The look on his face made Edith come a little closer.

"Thomas…," she whispered.

"I was 8 when it first happened. Father had passed away and that fact had changed Mother immensely. She had turned into some kind of monster to us. She was always looking for reasons to hurt us. It almost felt like she was punishing her children for the death of her husband. Finally, she stopped wanting to be around us all together and confined us to the nursery in the attic. No other children were allowed to come over and Lucille and I were always together."

Edith slipped even closer to Thomas and sat down next to him. He refrained from looking at her, glancing at the work in his hands instead. It was hard for him to say this, she could see that.

"I think that the constant lock up, Mother's brutalization and me being her only companion, made Lucille mentally unstable. She began to imagine us as lovers, innocently at first. But then, she learned about sex. I wanted nothing to do with it, but then one night… I was asleep and she…," Thomas choked on the last words and he couldn't continue.

A tear slid from the corner of Edith´s eye as she took his hand. "It's okay," she whispered.

"I was mad at her at first, but she made me see that it was normal. It was something that lovers did. I believed her, since nobody was around to tell me otherwise. It lasted for four years, until Mother caught us. Lucille killed her with no remorse whatsoever, making her the only thing I had left in the world."

"But then Lucille was sent off to an asylum," Edith murmured.

"Yes, when Lucille came back… It was easy to fall back into that routine of us being the only two people in the world. It was all I knew."

Edith shook her head. "But you must have met other women? You never felt the need to connect with them?"

Thomas almost laughed. "Whenever I wanted to connect with another woman, Lucille would threaten to kill her. So I kept myself closed off from all women… cold and detached. I made myself not care about them. She even made me promise that I would never fall in love with anyone else. But then I met you," he stated with a smile. "Falling in love with you was such an eye opener for me. Making love with you… For the first time I considered being intimate with another woman as something beautiful."

Edith smiled back at him, almost blushing.

"Still, as an adult you could have stopped her. But you refrained from doing so," she told him honestly.

"I know. I also know that it makes me just as guilty as her. I married those women, knowing what she would do to them. I chose to look the other way and not care about what happened. I only wanted the money they could bring me for my inventions. I thought that the money could help me move on and start a life somewhere else, without Lucille. You made me care about more than that. My life has been very lonely, Edith. When I made love to you that night, I felt as if I belonged somewhere for the very first time in my life."

He looked up at her for the first time since he started talking about his past. He reached up with his hands and carefully touched her face.

"Do you still love me?" he softly whispered.

Edith felt tears pricking her eyes. "I don't know, Thomas. I don't know if I can," she answered him truthfully. "I don't know if I will be able to forgive you."

He looked down in disappointment.

"Come one, don't give me that look."

His incredible blue eyes searched hers as he leaned forward a bit, making Edith's hart jump in anticipation. She could feel his warm breath on her face as he slowly dragged his lips across her cheek. Her eyes closed involuntarily. "I can feel it when I touch you, you know?" he breathed. "The way your skin jumps whenever I stroke you with the tips of my fingers. The way your breathing accelerates…"

To prove his point, he carefully caressed her neckline, watching in fascination as her skin indeed jumped and produced goose bumps all over her body. He kissed her jaw softly, and she couldn't help the moan that erupted from her lips.

"I want to kiss you," he announced in a groan. "I want to taste the cavern of your mouth. I want to possess what is mine and bury myself so deep inside of you that I won't know where I begin and you end."

"Yes..," was the only word Edith could produce.

Right before Thomas's lips could claim hers, she came back to her senses. She opened her eyes and put a hand to his chest to stop him.

"Thomas, I have someone in my life now… that I love. It's very different from what you and I had. I trust him and know every single thing there is to know about him. He's perfect for me, you know. You and me….. we….. we…..," Edith couldn't even remember where she was going with this. "God, I hate you, Thomas Sharpe," she blurted out instead. She buried her head in her hands and let out a soft sob.

For some reason, Thomas knew exactly what was really being said behind those words. He placed a hand on her back in a soothing manner and smiled to himself.

"I hate you too, Edith Cushing-Sharpe."

Edith wiped away her tears and looked up at his smiling face, not being able to stop the short and sweet kiss that happened next. It was just a small peck, but it held everything.

A sudden pounding interrupted the moment, breaking them apart. The front door was almost being thrown off of its' hinges with the force of the person on the outside.

"Open this damn door!"

 _Now who is that at the door? Please leave a review and find out…_


	4. Chapter 4

**Author's note:** Surprise! Fast update! I'm quick about it, because this upcoming week is going to be super busy for me. So I will leave you with the end of this chapter for a while. Sorry! Now, last chapter was a bit of a risk. I was highly aware of that when I began to write about what happened between Thomas and Lucille. I was in constant doubt about if I should post it or rewrite it all together. But then I decided to go ahead and put it up. Yes, I do want this story to be sexy and seductive, but I figured that if the movie had continued and Thomas had survived, Edith wouldn't take him back right away. The fact is that Thomas and Lucille _did_ happen and I felt that, if Edith should ever forgive him, Thomas needed to be fair and open about his past. Now, most of you guessed it would be Alan at the door. Try again :-P Thomas and Edith being a sure thing after this? There's always a loophole. To those who continue being supportive of this story through faves, follows and reviews: THANK YOU! On to the story!

 **Show down**

"Open this door right now!"

Edith sat frozen on the couch, while she eyed Thomas in shock. Her heart was pounding in her throat as she heard the door being pummeled. Who had found them? How? And so soon…

"Thomas," she whispered antsy.

Thomas got up and walked towards the door. "It's all right. I had to show my face at one point. Let's see who it is, shall we?"

As soon as he had the lock turned, two policemen flew into the shop, hollering something about Thomas having to put his hands in the air. Edith watched as he complied in a bit of a surprise. What was this about?

"Yes, that's him. He's the one who abducted my friend and took her out of our house," a voice came from behind the policemen.

"Adriana?" Edith couldn't believe what she was seeing. Adriana stepped forward and poked her finger into Thomas' chest, as he was being arrested with handcuffs and all.

"Did you really think that you could get away with this? I have your number, Mr. Sharpe. I heard you the moment you set foot in my house to take her away. I followed the two of you, you see. I saw you getting into that carriage and never wasted any time. I got up on my horse and chased you here. These nice policemen were just around the corner as I watched you go in. All I had to do was tell them exactly what you had done. It's over, Sir Thomas. You won't be bothering Edith anymore," she hissed.

Edith felt panic bubbling up inside of her. They couldn't arrest him! They had just begun to talk and needed to finish this.

"Listen, Adriana. I know that Thomas behaved a bit unorthodox with hauling me out of my own house, but this is a bit over the top, don't you think? I appreciate that you're looking out for me, but this is unnecessary," she tried to reason with her friend.

The policemen had begun to search Thomas, checking his pockets. "Do you carry any weapons?" one of them hissed.

Thomas remained eerily calm, eying Adriana with no emotion whatsoever. "Gentlemen, while I appreciate that you're trying to do good by society, this lady has got it all wrong. Yes, I was a bit brash with how I took my own wife out of her house, but she _is_ my wife. I've committed no crime here. It was just me wanting to talk to her."

The policemen seemed a bit stumped by his admission, looking back and forth between him and Adriana, before finally settling their eyes on Edith.

"Ma'am? Is he telling the truth? Are the two of you married?" one of them asked her.

Edith looked at Adriana and swallowed. It almost felt as if she had to choose between her friend and her husband. "Yes, we're married," she eventually said.

She completely missed the smirk Thomas gave Adriana.

"Well, then there's nothing we can do here. This is nothing but a domestic dispute."

Thomas was immediately released from his handcuffs and he rubbed his wrists, while thanking the policemen.

"This is unbelievable! Even if they are married, don't you think that him abducting her against her will is a crime? I mean, this is Sir Thomas Sharpe, for goodness sake! Look him up! There's plenty to arrest him for," Adriana tried again.

The policemen wouldn't listen and made their way towards the door. "We don't meddle in people's marriages, Ma'am. Have a pleasant day, since it's almost dawn. Goodbye."

The door slammed shut and the room was suddenly filled with eerie silence. They all stood there watching each other, until finally, Edith couldn't take it anymore.

"Well, since I've been up half the night, I think it's wise to go home and get some sleep," she said.

Thomas stepped forward and put a hand on her arm to stop her. " _This_ could be your home, you know. I have my living arrangements upstairs and there's plenty of room for two."

Adriana turned their way in frustration. "Oh, come on! You're coming home with me," she insisted.

"If I were you, I would stop talking after the stunt you've just pulled."

Thomas glared at her in warning.

"What if I don't? Am I going to end up in a well full of clay, like your former wives?" Adriana shot back.

Edith stepped forward and put her hands up to stop the bickering.

"Enough! Both of you, stop this. Thomas, I'm going home with Adriana to get some rest. In case you've forgotten; I've got a concussion, so I'm going to need some peace and quiet. We can talk later. Adriana, I love you. But try and be a little less… I don't even have a word here. I know you don't like Thomas after Allerdale Hall and all, but let him atone for what he's done."

"Atonement can be had in prison, dear," Adriana spoke her piece.

Edith didn't even want to listen to her anymore and held up her finger to silence her. "I've got a headache. I'm going home. Thomas, I will see you later."

Adriana and Edith didn't say a word to each other on the ride back. After arriving at their house, Edith immediately went up to her chamber and climbed in bed. She slept for what seemed like days, until a noise woke her.

Alan was sitting next to her with his head in his hands, worry etched onto his features. Edith smiled at his presence and put a hand to his cheek to let him know that she was awake.

"Hey," he softly said. "How are you feeling? You've had quite a night, from what I've been told."

Edith sat up and eyed him with what felt like guilt. Guilt for kissing Thomas and guilt for allowing herself to feel what she wasn't supposed to be feeling anymore.

"Yeah. I'm sorry for putting you through that," she hoarsely said.

"For putting _me_ through that? You're the one who was taken. I can't believe Thomas would pull a stunt like that. I can't even believe he is alive, for that matter."

Alan rubbed a hand across his chin, as he watched her. "I'm trying to figure out what this all means, Edith. He's alive and suddenly, you're not mine anymore. You're his. A marriage by law is binding. Also, you can't marry me anymore. God, why did he have to do this now? Why didn't he come back right away?"

He stood up and began to pace the room, as Edith felt tears prick her eyes.

"That's what I asked him as well."

"Well, how did he answer that?" Alan wanted to know.

"He said that he thought that I would be better off without him. He tried to move on for the past year, until he realized that he couldn't stop loving me."

Alan flopped back down onto a chair that stood in the far corner of the room. He was antsy, irritated and the thing that broke Edith's hart the most; hurt. "I can relate to that last part, but he's being so goddamn selfish here! Excuse my language."

Edith had never seen him angry. He was always such a darling to everyone.

"I'm sorry," she breathed.

"Hey, it's not your fault," Alan stressed, as he came back to sit by her bed. He grabbed hold of her hand and eyed it intently, stroking it. "I've been thinking about a way out of this. There are various scenarios. This doesn't have to be the end of us, you know?"

Confusion crossed Edith's face, as she was trying to read what he was getting at.

"What do you propose we do? Kill him?" she tried to joke through the discomfort of the situation.

Alan suddenly looked at her with a newfound passion. He had an idea. She was just afraid of what that idea was.

"We could take this situation and make it to our advantage," he began to explain. "What if we threaten him?"

Edith stared at him incredulously. "You're joking, right? My days of wielding a knife are over, Alan. And you're not going to do it either. No more violence, I've seen enough of it with Lucille Sharpe."

Alan got back up and began to make a heartfelt speech: "I'm not talking violence, I'm talking about threatening him with the simple things that he's done. Officially, he's an accomplice to murder, Edith. He took those women, he married them and handed them over to his sister. He knew where their bodies where and he knew how they were killed, but he mentioned nothing to the authorities. Back in England, when they were searching Allerdale Hall, they went easy on Thomas because everyone believed him to be murdered. They've put all of the blame on Lucille. But what if you threaten to testify against him? What if you ask him to stay dead, or else you will spill the beans about his sordid past?"

"Hold it, Alan. We can't do that!" Edith protested.

"Why not? He's not having any second thoughts about what he's doing to us with his presence. Why should we care about him at all?"

"Even if I do threaten him and send him away, we will all know, Alan! We will know that he's out there. Can we live with that fact?" She had to admit, the very first time she saw Thomas in her room at her wedding, she had proposed the same thing to him; to live on as if she had never seen him and marry Alan. But now that she had really talked to Thomas…

Suddenly, a commotion could be heard downstairs, interrupting their discussion. Adriana's voice came from somewhere in the distance, warning someone: "This is called trespassing! Get out of my house or I will find the police!"

"You go ahead and do that. They will just tell you what they have already said last time; they won't meddle in people's marriages," a man said.

"Thomas," Edith whispered, as she recognized his voice.

Alan sat down next to her, grabbing her gently by the shoulders. "Look at me, Edith. Now is as good of a time as any. When he comes in here, you tell him. You tell him that you'll hand him over to the police if he won't let us be together."

Edith wanted to scream; everyone was pulling her in so many different directions. She eyed the door warily as it opened, revealing her husband as she expected.

"Ah, there's my wife. Alan, nice to see you again."

Thomas stepped into the room and walked up towards Edith's bed. He leaned over to kiss the top of her head, making sure to look at Alan as he did it. It was all about display, Edith realized. He had come to show the world that she was his and wasn't backing down. She saw Alan clench his fists as it obviously took him every ounce of self control to not leap forward and pummel him.

"Thomas, good of you to come. Edith and I have just had a conversation about wanting to talk to you. Now that you're here, we can do it right now. Edith…"

Alan nodded in her direction, indicating that she should do some talking.

"I….," she stuttered. She realized that she wasn't going to be able to do this and eyed both of them with sadness in her eyes. Alan was making her choose, she understood that now. If she didn't do this, Alan would be gone. If she did do this, Thomas would be gone. The importance of that exact moment weighed down on her.

Alan saw her turmoil and turned towards Thomas. "My future wife seems at loss for words, but what she was trying to tell you is that we will go to the authorities if you don't step out of our lives. We will notify England that you are alive and we will tell them about your involvement in your former wives' death. There's a reason why Edith sold Allerdale Hall, Thomas. She's done with everything that happened there, including you. Let her move on, man. Let yourself move on. Find someone new and be happy with her. Find someone who won't know about your past and all the dark things that you have done. Your sister killed her father, man. Do you think she will ever get over that? Move on. Let us be happy and be happy yourself."

Thomas looked at Edith's tearful eyes, searching them intently.

"Is that really what you want, Edith? You don't want to be with me anymore? You can't find it in your heart to forgive me?"

Edith opened her mouth to speak, but no sound came out. Her answer was lost somewhere in the sob that tore from her lips….

 _You'll have to excuse Alan, people. He's desperate and grasping at straws. But if you want to guess what Edith will do next, please leave me a review and tell me your thoughts._


	5. Chapter 5

**Forgiveness**

 _The clunk of the shovel hitting Lucille's head still rung in her ears as her eyes landed on his. There was a sadness surrounding him as he looked at her in guilt. Her heart clenched as she took notice of his white hair, which was usually so deeply brown. There was a gash in his face, and something black swirled out of it, fading up into the air. God, he was so pale… She took a few steps forward, feeling something of a lump forming in her throat as she realized that this was a goodbye. He wasn't among the living anymore. No words were spoken, as it dawned on her what he wanted from her before he went. The question was; could she give it to him? Could she look into her heart and find it in herself to give him some kind of redemption before he disappeared from her forever? Her hand went up on its' own accord and carefully touched his face, palming it. She could feel him underneath her fingers.. his skin was so cold. He searched her face, silently asking her for forgiveness. Tears leaked from her eyes as she tried to take in his features, imprinting them in her memory. This was their last moment. Her eyes looked into his as she told him without words that it was okay. It was okay for him to move on, because she gave him his redemption._

 _It was all that was needed for him to cross over. He slowly disappeared from underneath her fingertips, leaving her alone, palming air instead of his face. He was gone forever, and she buckled over and wept into the blood red clay…._

"Thomas!" Edith screeched.

As soon as she opened her eyes, she found herself to be on a train, instead of the cold and snowy grounds of Allerdale Hall. It had all been a dream. A woman was sitting across from her, eying her in disdain at the way she had yelled out. Edith smiled at her. "I apologize, ma'am. I seem to have fallen asleep."

The woman said nothing and turned her head towards the window, glancing out at the landscape passing by.

Well, that had been embarrassing! She seemed to be more tired than she had anticipated after her travels. Her head felt heavy and full. Of course, it wasn't all due to travelling that she felt exhausted; she still had her concussion to worry about and the fact that she had a decision to make, a decision that would change her life forever; the decision between two men.

She knew that they would probably be angry at the way she had left things; after both Alan and Thomas had pressured her about making a choice, she couldn't take it anymore. She had asked both of them to leave her chambers without giving them an answer. She needed time. Adriana, always looking out for her, had escorted both of them out. Afterwards, she had written two letters; one to Alan and one to Thomas. The one to Alan had said:

 _My dearest Alan,_

 _You know that I've always been very fond of you. There isn't a childhood memory without you in it. You have saved me in more ways than I can count, and I love you for that. But asking me to threaten someone with sending them to prison was a bit more than I could bear. I know you've said it out of fear of losing me and I understand that. If the roles had been reversed, I probably would have reacted the very same way. I'm not writing this letter to say to you that I've made my decision. I'm writing it to ask you for time. The past four days, my life has been uprooted into something I don't recognize anymore. One day, I was getting married to you, the next day, my late husband comes back from the dead. On top of that, there is this concussion that sometimes seems to split my head in two. I know you will probably be angry with what I will do next; I've told Adriana that I need to be away for awhile. Me and my thoughts need to be alone, and I can't be alone with you and Thomas hovering close by, awaiting my answer. So I'm taking a little trip. For me, this trip will be about redemption and closure. Once I've dealt with everything that has happened in the past year, I will come back. I promise you that. This is just something that I need to do.._

 _I love you, please know that. I will see you soon._

 _Love,_

 _Edith._

Adriana had promised to give the letter to him. The one to Thomas, she would have delivered to his shop. His letter said:

 _Dear Thomas,_

 _I don't think that you can begin to imagine what I've been through in the past year and a half. I married you, dreaming of a life full of promise, hope and maybe a couple of children in the future. Then, your sister revealed your appalling ways with your marriage and murder schemes. I was left afraid and having to kill her, before she killed me. For over a year, I believed that she had murdered you in a fit of jealousy and rage and I tried to move on with my life. Nightmares of that place still haunt me, Thomas, and Alan has helped me cope with everything that has happened. I owe both of you my life, I'm well aware of that. In the end, you've tried to do your best to save me. Now, suddenly you come back into my life, expecting to somehow pick up where we left off? You know that I can't do that. There's a lot that needs to be dealt with and I need to figure out if I will be able to forgive you. That is why I'm taking a trip; I need to be alone and think things over. I can't do that with you and Alan close by, fighting over me. Just like I told Alan: I will come back. This trip is about redemption and closure. Please let me do this. I did love you with all of my heart, Thomas. I just need to figure out if I still do…_

 _Love,_

 _Edith._

Edith had left, promising Adriana that she would stay safe and that she would come back soon. She never told her where she would go, because Adriana would probably advice her not to do this.

The train pulled up into the station. It was a sunny day and Edith looked out for the person she had arranged to come pick her up. The carriage stood in the distance, and her eyes fell on the landscape behind it. Her stomach churned a bit in anticipation. Maybe this hadn't been such a good idea. She didn't think that she would be able to face it, but she had to. If she wanted to put this behind her once and for all, she needed to do this.

"Miss Cushing?" a man suddenly said.

It was the man who would take her there. He had a friendly face, with a large mustache curling up at both ends.

"May I take your luggage?"

Edith nodded absentmindedly, fatigue suddenly taking hold of her. Maybe it was better to check into a hotel and face everything tomorrow. It still was a very long ride ahead.

As if reading her mind, the man spoke up: "If you don't mind me saying, ma'am. But you do look a bit pale. Don't you want a bit of rest first?"

Somehow, she didn't want to postpone this, so with newfound resolve, she declined. "You know where I want to go, please take me there."

With every mile closer to it, she felt more nervous. The hills were too recognizable and the landscape seemed to almost scream at her. But if she wanted to make a decision between Alan and Thomas, this was what needed to be done.

"There is a lot of activity now, Ma'am. You do need to be careful, because it is under construction. But it's turning into such a lovely place," the man (as it turned out, his name was Carl) who rode the carriage tried to make small talk.

Edith really didn't want to talk about it until she was there, so she quickly, but politely, changed the subject and asked about Carl's wife and children.

The sun was high in the sky by the time the gates doomed up in front of them. Somehow, it was different, though. The letters that once stood proudly at the top of the gates were taken down. The grounds were indeed buzzing with activity. Carl rode the carriage up towards the house, and Edith was almost afraid her feet wouldn't carry her.

There she was…. Allerdale Hall.

The house was as she remembered it, but seemed lighter somehow. Construction workers could be heard everywhere as the sound of hammers echoed all around the area.

Edith stood at the threshold, almost scared to go in. What would she find? Would she be able to handle it? Or would the house come at her in all of its' glory? One of the construction workers opened the heavy doors for her and Allerdale Hall's hallway loomed in front of her. It was not as how she remembered it; the paintings had been taken down and the once dark green walls were now coated with beige paint. It gave the entrance a less dark and scary look. The fireplace at the end was still there, and the staircase of course, but they gave off a different feel. Edith looked up to see that the roof had been fixed. No more leaves or snow blowing into the house endlessly.

She carefully walked further into the house and discovered that Lucille's piano was gone. The walls were painted white here, allowing the house to send out light instead of darkness.

"I beg your pardon. I used to live here, but sold it to the city. I would really like to have a look. Is it safe to go upstairs?" Edith asked one of the construction workers.

"It is, Ma'am. Every room is safe here. Just don't go down towards the basement. With everything that was found there, the city thought it best to close it up. No more basement for Allerdale Hall. They want to make this a happy place now. I hear there are talks of an all girl's school being situated here."

Edith nodded in approval. Yes, the basement was definitely not a happy place.

"Don't worry. I would never go down there. I'll be upstairs."

To walk these halls again was strange for her. She had vowed that she would never come back here ever again. But somehow, it was important to face this and know if she was able to forgive Thomas. Closure…. It would mean a closed door for one man and an open door for the other.

She passed by what was once their bedroom and stopped to look in. The room was empty, but again, very light with beige walls. It looked nothing like the room she had once slept in, but the feel of it hit her instantly. She stepped in and looked around, breathing in the atmosphere.

A memory of one of those rare nights Thomas was actually in bed with her came back to her…

" _Where do you always go off to at night? This house startles me and I need you with me. Please, Thomas. Can you at least stay with me until I fall asleep?" she begged._

 _The truth was, that night at the post office had left a longing in her; a longing to do it again. But Thomas hadn't touched her since they had been back, always working on his crafts or on his machine. She hardly saw him and was left to face the house and Lucille alone._

" _All right," Thomas whispered. "I'll stay with you."_

 _He climbed into bed with her and she curled up next to him, putting her head on his chest. His fingers began to stroke her back gently, leaving her almost purring her content. This was how it was meant to be._

 _She put her leg across his abdomen, locking him in place, and he seemed to stiffen a bit. Her fingers began to play with the strings of his shirt, slowly opening them up until she saw a hint of skin. She looked up at him to see his eyes were closed in concentration, a frown marring his features. It almost seemed as if he was trying to resist her in some way._

 _She began to kiss his jaw softly, slow and steady pecks, each one closer to his lips. When she reached them, she boldly ran her tongue across them, trying to separate them and have him let her in._

" _Kiss me, Thomas," she whispered._

 _He opened up his eyes to look at her, his face unreadable. Edith waited in anticipation of what he would do. Would he kick her out or allow her in?_

 _In a split second, the decision was made. He abruptly put his hands on her shoulders and pushed her down, before climbing on top of her. His lips swept downwards to kiss her harshly, almost punishing her for seducing him. She didn't care that he was a bit rough with her, because she had him where she wanted him. His teeth gnawed at her lips and Edith felt them swell under his assault. She moaned as his tongue finally slipped between her lips, playing with hers. His hands began to wander and she keened, as he was softly kneading her breasts. Her nipples hardened as he ripped her nightgown open, exposing her naked flesh to him. He was so brutal with her! She never even got a chance to recover, before he closed his mouth over one aureole, sucking hard. A cry fell from her lips, and her hips pushed upward on their own accord, coming in contact with his hard member. She heard him groan above her. Yes, he wanted this just as much as she did._

" _Thomas?" a singsong voice suddenly interrupted them. It came from the hallway._

 _Thomas instantly released her nipple with a loud plop and froze._

" _Thomas? Where are you? Can you help me for a second?," Lucille's voice sounded irritated._

 _Thomas almost leapt from their bed and redid the strings to his shirt, breathing harshly. Edith eyed the bulge in his pants and wanted to cry in frustration. Was he really going to face his sister right now?_

" _You don't have to behave as if you were caught with your hand in the cookie jar, Thomas. We are husband and wife. Married couples tend to do this sometimes, you know. I'm sure that your sister understands," she tried to lighten the atmosphere._

 _Thomas didn't answer her and went in search for his robe. When he found it, he covered himself up and bent over to kiss her forehead._

" _I'll go and see what she wants. Don't wait up for me," were his final words, before he stepped out of their room, leaving her very unsatisfied…_

Edith wanted to cry at the memory of the hold his sister had held over him. He was free now; freed from the past and free from his sister. He could now do whatever he wanted to do with his life. So why hadn't he started all over again? Why hadn't he started with a clean slate and found someone new? Someone who would never know of his past? But she already knew the answer to that; he wanted _her_. He wanted to show her once and for all that she was the only woman in his life.

"Some very peculiar things happened in this house. I'm glad that the city is changing it into something a bit more happy. Soon, children's laughter is going to echo these walls," Edith said, as she saw a construction worker in the hallway.

"Yes, indeed. I just hope that the house and the people responsible for what happened can find some sort of redemption," the construction worker answered.

Edith thought about this. "Redemption? Maybe some things just can't be forgiven."

The construction worker shook his head.

"Everybody needs forgiveness, ma'am. Otherwise, they will be stuck in the past forever and can't move on…."

 **Author's note:** Thank you for reading, everybody! This update came sooner than anticipated. I hope you all like it. Please review!


	6. Chapter 6

**A date in Cumberland**

"Good evening, Miss Cushing. Is everything to your liking?"

Edith smiled at the clerk, standing behind his desk in the lobby. She had checked in at this hotel late last night, after an exhausting day at Allerdale Hall. She had been surprised to find that people recognized her here. She never would have guessed that anyone in Cumberland would have read her book. Honestly, she didn't think her fame stretched that far, but it had. Of course, 'Crimson Peak' had been about Allerdale Hall, a house that belonged to Cumberland. So, maybe some had heard about the book and had spread the word here.

"Everything is just lovely, thank you very much," she thanked the clerk.

"Very well. Dinner will be served at the Parisian Room tonight at 7 p.m. Should I reserve a table for you?"

"That would be great."

The clerk nodded and seemed to fidget over something. "Uhm… Should I reserve a table for one? I mean, is there a Mr. Cushing around?"

Edith swallowed something. She hadn't heard the title 'Mr. Cushing' since her father had passed.

"No, just a table for one, please."

She understood that it was a bit strange, a woman travelling alone. But she needed some rest before getting back to Buffalo, where two men were waiting for her and her answer. The truth was, she didn't have that answer yet. When she got to her hotel room last night, she had spent hours weighing the ups and downs of a life with Alan and with Thomas. She had realized that a life with Alan would be everything her father had ever wanted for her; security, safety and a good name. After all, Alan _was_ a Doctor. He would provide her with everything she could ever want. Thomas, on the other hand, was very unpredictable. He acted without thinking and she never knew where she stood with him. The Sharpe name was not one that would be spoken highly of in her circles and yet, Thomas challenged her in a way that evoked something inside of her. When he kissed her, her knees buckled.

"The weather is lovely outside," the clerk started conversation again. "We could serve you some tea out on the terrace?"

Edith nodded. "That would be nice."

The clerk gave someone a sign somewhere to someone, and they came running. "Right this way, Miss."

The weather was indeed warm and pleasant. The terrace overlooked a large, grassy field with lots of trees and a pond somewhere in the middle. The surroundings of this hotel were an absolute dream. She was seated at the edge of the terrace, where she could overlook everything. She put up her parasol to shield her from the sun.

Edith thanked the man who had escorted her and breathed in her surroundings. Yes, this was the exact atmosphere she needed to make her decision.

Suddenly, a movement a few tables away from her caught her attention. A man stood with his back towards her, and he was helping a woman in her seat. There was something familiar in the way that he moved. Edith couldn't exactly pinpoint what it was, but the man kept her unwavering attention. She noticed how the man leaned forward to give the woman a small kiss on her hand. Were they betrothed, or perhaps married? Edith shook her head. That wasn't any of her business. It was embarrassing with the way she had eyed the man! Wasn't it enough that she already had to worry about two other men? What was wrong with her?

Suddenly, the man turned around to take his seat opposite from the woman. Edith gasped as she saw familiar dark hair, framing chiseled features. She'd recognize those features anywhere. What in the world was Thomas doing in Cumberland? Had he followed her here? She fumed, as she watched him talk amicably towards the woman. Who was she?

Edith squinted her eyes, trying to get a better view of the two. Her blood boiled with anger. What was he thinking, following her like this! How had he even found her? She hadn't even been sure herself about where she would go to, when she had boarded that train to New York to get away from it all. Did he know her that well?

It began to irritate her with the way he was grinning his boyish smile at the woman sitting across from him. She wrung her hands together, keeping herself from going over there. She didn't want to talk to him yet. But still, the question about who she was to him kept on repeating itself inside her head. Maybe she had helped him at the hospital after Lucille's attack?

Lord, it was highly impolite to stare, but she couldn't look away. Did the woman know that he had a wife? She could hear the way she was laughing like a hyena over something Thomas had said and finally, she couldn't take it anymore. Maybe it was unladylike of her, but she really couldn't care less.

She walked up towards them with strong and sturdy steps, before stopping right next to their table. Thomas seemed to look up in surprise and his mouth fell slightly open. Edith smiled in victory as she watched him waver a bit. She turned towards the woman who seemed far too gorgeous to Edith's liking. She was perfectly coiffed, with brown, curly hair, which was held in place in a loose bun. Her eyes were piercing green and currently, staring at her in confusion.

"Well hello, I don't think we've been properly introduced," Edith said sweetly.

The woman sat a bit stumped as she managed a hesitant smile. "Uhm how do you do? I'm Victoria DeWitt."

"Very well, thank you. I'm Edith Cushing-…," she stopped for a second to get ready to drop the bomb on Victoria. "Sharpe. I'm Thomas' _wife."_

She watched as Victoria raised an eyebrow, before looking back at Thomas. Edith didn't know what it was, she had never felt this way before, but she wanted to slap that woman silly.

Thomas cleared his throat and got up from his seat. "Edith, what a surprise of you to join us." He leaned forward and kissed her on the cheek, before pulling back a chair for her. Edith sat down, giving Victoria DeWitt an arrogant look. If she didn't get the picture before, she sure would now. Thomas sat back down himself and eyed the two women with something of a small smile playing on his lips. What was he smiling about, Edith thought crankily.

"Edith, I have heard so much about you from Thomas. He always gushes about how you have made him want to be a better man. It's so nice to finally meet you. I must say, Thomas, she is lovely. You've done well," Victoria said. Edith frowned. Victoria DeWitt had known about her? "Thank you, Victoria. Edith, Victoria and her husband Charles have helped me set up the store in Buffalo. I owe them a great deal. Charles will be joining us shortly, he's up in his room to get some papers for me," Thomas explained.

Well, now Edith felt stupid and a little embarrassed with her behavior. Lord, she had been jealous! She didn't even have the right to be jealous, right? Yes, Thomas was her husband, but _she_ was the one who was engaged to another man.

Charles joined them not long after, and Edith warmed up to the DeWitt's a bit more. Charles DeWitt was an impressive man with his height towering over her. He had a mustache, which curled upward at both ends. The thing that stood out most was his great sense of humor, making Edith unable to hold back her laughter. He was an investor and he had worked hard to get to where he was. Her father would have liked him. Once they were finished with business, they had a delicious lunch together. But no matter how intriguing their talking was, Edith wanted it all to end soon. She still needed to speak to her husband.

"Edith, it was a pleasure to meet you. Be sure to hold on to this one, Mr. Sharpe. Don't let her get away," Charles advised. Thomas smiled at Edith, before looking at his investor. "I don't intend to." Edith looked down with all that this one simple sentence held in store. Not long after that, they found themselves sitting alone. Edith didn't even know where to begin. His blue eyes were fixated on hers, a small and almost flirtatious smile gracing his features. Edith blushed and looked down.

"What are you smiling about?" she wanted to know.

Thomas shook his head. "Nothing. I'm just happy to be here with you."

Edith wrung her hands together. It was time to have a serious conversation. "How did you find me here? Have you followed me?" she confronted him.

"Followed you?" He seemed to frown a bit. "There's no way I could have known for sure where you had run off to."

"But you had a feeling?"

Thomas leaned back in his chair and eyed her seriously. "When I received your letter… To say that I was disappointed was an understatement. I became frustrated and worried."

"Worried about what?"

"That you were going to break me by marrying Alan and sending me off to prison. I thought your apprehension of forgiving me would get the best of you."

Edith became a bit angry at that. " _Me_ breaking _you_? Do you know how many times you have broken me? You broke my trust when you lied and allowed your sister to poison me. You broke it again when you had led me to believe that you had passed for over a year."

"I'm well aware of that. I have apologized for it and I have tried to make something of myself ever since. But will it ever be enough, Edith? The fact that you can't forgive me has been repeated many times. I just didn't know what to do anymore, so I went to England. I really needed to make an appointment with Charles DeWitt anyway. If you were going to go ahead with Alan's plan I might as well be out of the way for a little while. It wasn't until I saw you on the same ship as mine that I realized where you were headed to. It gave me hope, so yes… I hovered a bit."

Edith sighed. "What if I _had_ chosen you? How would I have been able to find you?"

"Trust me, I would have known."

"God, everything is such a mess. Up until a little over a year ago, my life was simple. All I had to worry about was publishing my book, while my father and his servants tended to me. Now, my book is published, my father is dead and everything is just… complicated! My father would have approved of Alan, you know. I guess he had always been hoping that someday, me and Alan would be wed."

Thomas looked straight at her while he took her hand. "I know, Edith. He's everything you could want or need. He's loved in society. He says all the right things at exactly the right time. But somehow, he means nothing to you. I mean, not like that. It has always been that way. I've seen it before you were betrothed to me. The looks he would give you were not returned and deep down he knows that. That's why he's desperate right now. He knows that you love me and will never love him back equally."

Edith released her hand from Thomas' grip and leaned back in her seat. "You're quite arrogant and confident of yourself. How do you know that I still love you?"

Thomas smiled the most heart-stopping smile she had ever seen on him and it made her heart pitter-patter.

"Because you've just revealed it to me. I was talking to Victoria and you came over here to make sure that she understood with perfect clarity that you are my wife. You wouldn't have done that if you had wanted to cut me loose. You would have let me move on with my life. You've said it yourself that you wanted me to find someone new. But today, when you thought that Victoria was competition, you wouldn't let me. You're in love with me, Edith. Just as much as I'm in love with you."

Edith felt tears burning in her eyes as she got up from her seat.

"I can't do this right now. I need to go and rest in my room for a while," she mumbled.

Thomas nodded and stood up with her. "I'll escort you back."

Edith put a hand up to stop him. "Please just leave me, okay?" She turned around to walk back inside the hotel, but he took hold of her arm.

"Look, after you've settled into your room, I'll leave you. But for now, I'm keeping a close eye on you. You're trembling all over and I don't want you to faint."

Edith didn't even have the strength to fight him anymore, so she let him. Once, they reached her floor, he asked for her key and she handed them over. Her room was warm and bright as she stepped inside.

Thomas followed her into the room. Her mind didn't even click with how improper it was for a man to be invited into the room of a woman. However, they were husband and wife on paper. There was nothing improper about this, except for the fact that she was engaged to someone else. His fingers lightly stroked hers as he took her parasol from her, and her skin broke out in goose bumps.

He put the parasol in the corner next to the door as she turned her back towards him, trying to calm herself down. Suddenly, he was right behind her, his fingers trailing a path across the base of her exposed neck.

"You feel it too, don't you?" he whispered hoarsely. "The air is always so thick when we're in a room together. It's almost like our attraction towards another is palpable in the air."

She involuntarily closed her eyes as she felt his lips press a kiss to her shoulder. He didn't stop there. His lips trailer further up her neck, sliding ever so delicately across her skin. A moan escaped her before she could stop it.

"If you would let me, I would take off your dress… button by button."

She could feel him fumbling with a button to put action to his words. This was wrong, but oh so right!

"I would press baby kisses to your naked belly," he continued.

She could feel his breath on her as she began to pant a little.

"You know what it was like in that room at the post office; the way I felt inside of you. I need that again. Tell me you want me."

Edith turned around and slapped him, feeling the need to distance herself from the hot and heavy emotions coursing through her. He was out of line here. Thomas just stared into her eyes, not even blinking. Her breathing was shallow and her cheeks were flushed with his words. Then, something inside of her clicked. There was no way to stop it as she almost flung herself at him, her mouth smashing into his as she kissed him hungrily…

 **A/N: Phew! Thomas can be so deliciously hot, can't he? Is this Edith's decision? Will she finally take him back? And what about Alan and his reaction towards Edith's letter? You'll find out in the next chapter. But first, don't forget to review this one!**


	7. Chapter 7

_**Shocked**_

 _Sometimes, you wish you could've done things differently… turn back time to salvage what has been broken. What if you could choose another path, would this have still happened? Edith sat on her knees in the damp mud, dirt covering her dress and blood covering her hands. How did she end up here? Her eyes found Alan's, as the horror of what had just happened sank in with both of them. "Edith…," he whispered. Tears ran down her cheeks as she realized that this would change everything forever…._

 _A few days earlier_

The room gave off a warm glow in the candlelight, as two figures seemed to be entangled in bed. Their bodies, covered in a light hue of sweat, moved against each other, trying to get as close as possible. The man's face was contorted in pleasure, as he gritted his teeth.

"Edith…," he whispered.

She was sitting on top of him, setting up a delicious rhythm between the two.

"You seem to have a knack for being on top," Thomas tried to joke through his pleasure.

Edith cracked one eye open to look down at him, moaning with how her inner walls fluttered around his length. "Well, you have a knack for being strange. In the beginning, you didn't talk all that much and right now, you talk too much!"

Thomas chuckled, but it was cut short when Edith raised herself up again and a guttural groan escaped him. "You're going to be the death of me."

Edith sank back down onto his length and bent forward, her face on level with his. "Stop talking," she ordered, before pressing her lips firmly to his.

Edith felt all of her nerve endings being heightened by their lovemaking; each stroke of his fingers on her skin almost sent her into tailspin. She hadn't been touched by any man since that night at the post office. She guessed it had her body screaming for the attention. This was how it was meant to be, with them enjoying their lovemaking without worry. Nobody was looking over their shoulder and Thomas was finally releasing his demons.

She felt how Thomas put his hands on her behind, aiding her in her slow and steady thrusts. His face was absolutely beautiful when minutes away from that point of no return. She wanted to take in this moment forever, for she knew they still had a long and difficult road ahead of them. Now was not the time to think about that, however, as she enjoyed each twitch across his features. He opened his eyes again and noticed her looking at him.

Edith's heart skipped a beat with how magical the moment was; nothing was being said and yet, everything was displayed with their emotions. She saw how he had let go and had given himself over to her and their connection. It almost made her tear up, for this was the Thomas she had craved for back in Allerdale Hall. Now, his emotions lay bare before her as a sign that he gave her everything that he had and _only_ her.

They kept their eyes locked onto each other while Edith continued moving above him. She loved how he would sometimes part his lips to gasp for breath or to release a silent moan.

She grabbed hold of his hands and laced her fingers with his, squeezing tight with each thrust. "I'm going to come," Thomas whispered desperately beneath her. Edith smiled and gave him a soft kiss, before giving her permission: "Do it."

It was all Thomas needed as he hurled over the edge, now unable to keep his eyes open any longer. His entire body arched as he spilled inside of her. For Edith, this was the best moment.

"Wow," Thomas breathed a few minutes later. Edith grinned as she placed her head on his damp chest, her fingers playing with his above the blankets. "That was…. I mean…." It seemed as if Thomas had a hard time finding words. "And now you're suddenly rendered speechless again. Like I said, you're a strange man, Thomas Sharpe," Edith laughed.

"Strange? You try talking after a mind-numbing orgasm, Mrs. Sharpe!"

Edith felt all kinds of warm feelings at the mention of her married name. Mrs. Thomas Sharpe…. It definitely suited her. Of course, being Mrs. Thomas Sharpe meant that her time with Dr. Alan McMichael was over. Her smile faded shortly, as she contemplated that she still had to tell him. Now was not the time to think about that, as she was still days away from American shore.

"I wouldn't know, Thomas. I have yet to experience it," she tried to say as serious as she could. Of course, she burst out in a fit of giggles at the sight of Thomas' face.

He began to tickle her sides as punishment, making her gasp for breath. "Oh, you'll get what's coming to you. Don't you worry!"

He made good on his promise moments later….

They lay curled up together as Edith took in her surroundings. This was their first night on the ship that would take them back to America. They had checked in as Mr. & Mrs. Sharpe, a sure sign of her decision and how things would be in the future. After their heated argument with the inevitable kiss back in Cumberland, Edith had realized that fighting him proved futile; no matter how hard she tried to hate him as well as love someone else, it was no use. She loved him and she always would, no matter their history. She had given Thomas an ultimatum, though: They would immediately go back to Buffalo to tell Alan, he deserved that much. Of course, she hadn't planned on making love to Thomas before they had reached American shore. It had somehow felt as a betrayal to all that Alan had done for her if she would give herself to Thomas before reaching him. But sometimes, the pull was just too strong. Still, she felt a bit guilty, even if Thomas was technically her husband.

"I still have to tell him, you know. It's going to be difficult. He was my rock throughout all of this," Edith silently said.

Thomas was next to her on his side, raised up on his arm and looking down at her.

"I know. I was a bit of an ass to him in trying to win you back, but I do wish him well. I will always be very grateful to him for saving you."

Edith bit her bottom lip, realizing she still had a very deep secret to reveal; a secret that would make Thomas understand why it had been so hard to come back to him, or to forgive him altogether.

"There is something…. There's more, Thomas. You need to know in order for us to be able to move on from everything that's happened. Lucille's actions had even more side effects than you could possible know about."

Thomas stroked her cheek as worry began to mar his features. "What is it?" he breathed.

Tears formed in Edith's eyes as she tried to take a shaky breath.

"When I got back from England after I thought that you had died at Lucille's hands, I began to notice something about myself. I constantly felt nauseated and tired, but I thought it was because of everything that had happened. Maybe the poison still had some after effects, I thought. But I also noticed that I had a slight, what Alan called, 'pouch.' He meant it lovingly and as a bit of a joke, of course, but it had me wondering. My stomach has always been as flat as a board. So I went to see a doctor. He examined me and confirmed that he thought that I was pregnant. It didn't last long, though. With all of the poison Lucille had given me, the fight that we had at the end and when I fell a story down.. I think it proved to be too much for the baby to handle in the end. I miscarried, Thomas. I lost our child and I just couldn't bare it anymore. That woman had taken so much from us. Alan helped me recover, but for months I was very bitter. This is why I felt like I owed Alan for giving me his everything. I detested the fact that you let her, Thomas. You let her destroy us, you never stopped her and towards the very end, she eventually killed our baby. I was so mad at you. And then you came back…"

Edith couldn't speak anymore. She was desperately sobbing as she watched the utter shock and horror pass over Thomas' face. He sat up and left their bed without a word.

"Thomas?"

She frowned as she saw him padding over towards a porthole. The moonlight outside shone in his face as he pressed his forehead against the cool window.

"My courage to stand up for myself came too late," he whispered brokenly. "All of my life I was so used to doing whatever Lucille said. I was her puppet. I loved her and I looked up to her. It never occurred to me that she needed help. I could have put a stop to her, but I didn't. Because of it, she has broken everything that I have ever wanted and loved in my life. I've been a weakling."

Edith followed him out of their bed and pressed her body against his cool back, hugging him from behind.

"I let her poison you, because I didn't dare argue with her. Because of my inability to speak up, she killed our child. How am I going to forgive myself for that?"

Edith thought about this for a second and remembered the words of the construction worker back at Allerdale Hall.

"Because it is something that life requires. If we don't forgive ourselves or others, the past will become the future. Everything will be put on hold, because we can't move on. If we don't move on, Thomas, we will cease to exist in the years that are to come. Simply because the past has swallowed us whole."

Thomas turned around to look at her with a pained expression on his face.

"You still haven't said that you've forgiven _me_."

The moment he vocalized it, she realized that indeed, she hadn't said it. _Had_ she forgiven him? For what happened to herself and to her child? For all that he had let his sister do and for letting himself become a part of it? If she wanted to move on, the answer was simple. She put a hand to his cheek and smiled softly at him.

"I forgive you…."

"Well, look what the cat dragged in," Mrs. McMichael sneered when she laid eyes on what would have been her daughter-in-law.

Edith looked down. She did deserve that tone a bit, for she was the one who had postponed the wedding to Mrs. McMichael's son and took off, leaving a letter as her only explanation.

"Hello, Mrs. McMichael. I would very much like to speak to your son. Is he home?"

"No, he is not. And why are _you_ here?" Mrs. McMichael directed her question towards Thomas, who was standing by Edith's side.

"Forgive the intrusion, Ma'am. I'm here because I would like to apologize to your son. Are you sure he's not here?" Thomas said in the most polite manner.

Mrs. McMichael eyed him with disdain. "Apologize to my son? Why not start with my daughter? Or me, for that matter. You've broken my daughter's reputation by dismissing her at the party in our very own house and now, you're breaking my son's because you've decided to come back for _his_ fiancée. How do you live with yourself, Mr. Sharpe? Knowing what you've done…"

"I will apologize to the people who have it coming to them, Mrs. McMichael. However, you're not one of them for I've done nothing to you," Thomas said with a blank face.

Edith bit her cheek to keep from laughing at the sight of Mrs. McMichael's face.

"I see you're still as vulgar as you've always been, Mr. Sharpe. I'm very relieved for the fact that my daughter did not marry you."

"Mrs. McMichael, it's very important. Is Alan home or not?" Edith interrupted the vocal banter between the two.

Mrs. McMichael let out an irritated sigh.

"He's out back in the woods doing some hunting with our dear friend Mr. Sellers," she finally caved.

Edith wanted to raise an eyebrow at that remark. Hunting? Alan? The man wouldn't hurt a fly.

"Thank you."

Edith quickly slipped outside, dragging Thomas with her to get as far away from that woman as possible. If she found out why they were here to talk to Alan…

"I can't believe that at one point in both of our lives, that woman would have become our mother-in-law," Thomas shuddered.

Edith laughed at his pun, until she heard the sound of a gunshot.

"I think we're close," she said.

"I don't think cornering him while he has a gun in his hands is very wise, Edith. We should probably come back later," Thomas proposed.

"Don't worry. I'm not going to join in the hunting. I just want to alert him of my presence. I need to get him inside so we can have a conversation."

They traipsed through the branches and trees, until they came to the open spot where Alan was indeed firing away with Peter Sellers.

"Did you see that shot, Peter? I'm getting quite good at this!" Alan exclaimed.

Edith wanted to smile at his excitement. Alan always gave his very best when it came to trying something new. Oh, how she wished she wasn't breaking her best friend's heart!

Peter spotted them watching and tapped Alan on the shoulder.

"Edith," he breathed warmly, as his eyes fell on her. Of course, then he also saw Thomas and his smile waned. "Why is _he_ here? Does this mean that you've made your decision?"

"I've come with her to apologize to you, Alan. The way I've handled things… I want us all to start over. You're very important to Edith, so I want things to be all right between the two of us," Thomas explained.

Alan narrowed his eyes at him. "Start over? I think my deal was fair; you go to England and you stay there, while I marry Edith. There is no in between here, Thomas. Please leave my property."

"Uhm, Alan? You might want to dispose of your weapon around a woman," Peter hesitantly interrupted them.

Alan didn't seem to hear him.

"So what does this all mean, Edith? Is Thomas here because you've chosen him?"

"Listen, I feel really uncomfortable here with the guns. Can we go inside and talk? Just you and me, Alan," Edith pleaded.

Alan shrugged. "If you've got something to say then say it," he mumbled.

"Alan, just take her up on her offer. This is not classy." Peter tried again.

"You've chosen him, right? I can see it in your eyes. You can barely look at me. You know what? I don't want to go inside. I'm staying and the two of you can leave. Please go."

Edith glanced at Thomas, who said nothing. How was she supposed to handle this? Maybe it was considerably foolish to bring Thomas along, for it seemed to be setting Alan off in a big way and he held a gun…

"Get off my property! Both of you!" he suddenly yelled.

She could feel it in the air… something very bad was about to happen. Maybe she should indeed leave and talk to Alan when he was alone, without the influence of anyone or anything.

"Okay, I'll go," she whispered.

She backed up to leave, Thomas in tow, when Alan wanted to say one final word. It all happened in slow motion; Alan opened up his mouth to speak, as his hand that held the gun shot forward to make a dramatic gesture. Unfortunately, the gun slipped from his hand and fell to the ground with a thud, making it go off.

The last thing Edith heard was the ear deafening sound of a gunshot.

 _I should have done things differently….._

 **Author's note:** Oh oh… someone's been shot. Leave your thoughts about it in a review! Of course, another huge thank you to everyone for reading my little fic.


	8. Chapter 8

_**Fix you**_

" _Beautiful things are fragile…"_

Lucille's voice echoed in the back of her mind as she sank down towards the ground, along with Thomas. She held onto him for dear life as the mud smeared her dress. Then, she saw something else. Blood… She looked up to where Alan was standing with a horrified expression on his face. "Edith…," he whispered. Tears were streaming down her face as she realized the horror of what had just happened. Alan surged forward at the sight of the blood coating her dress.

"Oh God! Edith! Are you hurt? We need to get you inside and fetch a doctor. God, I'm so sorry!" he cried in despair. "I should have put the gun away!"

Edith sat on her knees as if numb. Hurt? She held up her hands in front of her eyes to see more blood there. Her fingers were red with it.

"Peter! Go and get a doctor. Now! My fiancé is hurt!" Alan bellowed in his panic.

It was then that Edith finally found her voice again.

"It's not my blood," she whispered.

Alan stopped dead in his tracks, trying to come to full understanding of what Edith had just said. It was then that his eyes fell on Thomas, lying pale next to her on the ground. Blood was oozing out of his stomach.

"You shot him," Edith mumbled in a state of shock.

Her teary eyes stared into Alan's shocked ones. Suddenly, a cry escaped her throat as she threw herself across Thomas' body. She put her head on his chest as she wailed with sobs that wracked her entire being.

"Edith…," Alan tried, bending down to put a hand on her arm to get her off of the cold ground. She swatted him away.

"Edith, we need to get both you and him off of this dirty mud. Please…"

"I can't. I cannot do this again! I've lost him once and it almost broke me. I won't do this again, Alan!" Edith hiccupped.

"I know, Edith. I know, because I was there when you thought you had lost him. I watched you crumble. I won't have that again. That is why you need to let me help you one more time. Believe that I love you and that that is enough for me to help him for you. I know I did this. Let me make it right."

Edith looked up at him, her vision blurry with tears.

"You need to fix him."

Alan nodded. Just as Peter came back running with a doctor, Edith allowed herself to be lifted up into Alan's arms. He quickly carried her away, inside of the house.

"Good Lord!" Mrs. McMichael exclaimed as she took in Edith's smeared appearance. The blood was everywhere.

"Mother, please boil water and bring out some wash cloths. Oh, and a dress that Edith could wear," Alan instructed.

Edith shook her head.

"No! I need to be where my husband is. I'm not taking the time to soak in a tub!"

"That's not what I'm doing here, Edith. You can clean yourself up a bit with the washcloth and put on some new clothes. We're going to be at the hospital for a very long time after this."

"No, I…"

Edith froze as she watched Peter and the doctor come back inside, holding a makeshift stretcher that held Thomas. She ran over towards them and eyed her husband with dread. He looked so pale…

She clutched his hand, which now lay limp next to his side. "I'm with you, Thomas. Do you hear me? Stay with me, okay? Please, stay with me." Thomas had his eyes closed and said nothing. More tears fell down Edith's cheeks as she watched the two men carry him out.

"We need to go after them towards the hospital. I'm not leaving him!" she stated.

"We will. Just put on the dress that mother has gotten for you," Alan tried again, as Mrs. McMichael entered the room again.

Edith whirled around to face him.

"If it had been me who had been shot, you wouldn't have given your attire a second thought, Alan McMichael! You would have rushed to that hospital just like I want to do right now. Take me there now or let me go and get my own transportation. But I am not wasting my time here cleaning up! There's always time after…"

She stopped her sentence to take a deep breath. She couldn't think about that. Thomas was not dying on her!

"All right, I'll take you there," Alan finally relented.

The ride over towards the hospital was quiet. Edith's initial shock had subsided and she was now quietly staring out at the scenery that was passing them by. Alan sat beside her with a guilty look on his face, probably hating the silence, but she couldn't care about that right now. Forgiveness could come later, after this whole ordeal was over.

The carriage stopped in front of the hospital and Edith rushed out, not even waiting for Alan. She needed to know how he was doing. She spotted Peter and the doctor who had helped Thomas and clung to them.

"How is he?" she demanded to know.

Peter looked down, making her heart almost stop. He wasn't….

"They've immediately taken him into surgery. It looks bad, Miss Cushing. I'm so sorry," he mumbled.

A stern look came across Edith's face as she pointed her index finger at him. "My name is Edith Sharpe! Don't you forget that! Thomas is strong, so don't go telling me that you're sorry! He's survived worse; he has survived physical and mental torment by his mother and sister. He's survived being stabbed and left for dead. Don't tell me that the outcome of this is any different than him walking out of here alive, do you hear me!"

Peter stayed silent at her outburst, instead giving her a firm nod, indicating that he understood her words.

She sat down in one of the chairs in the hallway, while she watched as Alan silently approached her. He opened his mouth to speak, but apparently, decided against it several moments later. Instead, he sat down beside her, not saying a word. They sat like that for what seemed like hours.

"I remember the first time I saw him, you know," Edith suddenly spoke up.

Alan turned to look at her.

"I thought he was the most interesting man I had ever seen. The way he presented his invention… Of course, father disapproved of him, but that made him all the more fascinating. I knew. From the moment I laid eyes on him I knew that I wanted to marry him. There was no question about that. He was my tall, dark and handsome stranger. When we went to England, his intentions were questionable at first, yes. But he loved me and he couldn't let Lucille do what she always did. Just as he had begun to show me who he truly was, Lucille killed him. Or so I thought. I thought he was lost to me forever. Of course, that's when he showed up again. On my wedding day to you. I scolded him for his timing and demanded that he leave me alone after all that he and his sister had pulled. But I could never forget him and even though I love you, Alan, it was never quite like I loved him. It took me a long time to decide whether I could forgive him or not, though. I felt like he didn't put up a strong enough fight against his sister and because of it, I lost my baby and two other women lost their lives. I couldn't understand how he could live with himself. It was then that I understood that he didn't. He wasn't alive. Not in the sense that matters. Thomas was a shell of the man that he could be. Lucille had killed him a long time ago, when he was just a little boy. What existed now was only exterior. I awoke him again and made him feel."

"You know how to make anyone feel," Alan said with a small smile.

"Still, he took a risk by coming back. He knew that we could out him but it didn't matter to him. He fought for me because he didn't know how to be without me. He could have travelled the world, married another woman and enjoy life without ever having to think about his past again, but he chose me. With that choice came the consequences of his past coming back to haunt him, but it didn't matter. I was all that mattered to him. Now I know how he felt."

Alan frowned next to her. "What do you mean?"

Tears formed in Edith's eyes as she spoke her next few words. "Because without him, I don't know how to live. Without him, nothing matters in this world. If he dies, a part of me dies along with him."

Finally, she looked Alan in the eye. Her words were uncomfortable to him, she understood that. But he needed to hear them in order for them to ever heal from this and both move on with their lives.

"I love you, Alan. You are in so many of my memories and I will always be very fond of you. But know this; I gave away my heart. He's the owner and he always will be. I learned that while I was away."

"Mr. McMichael, could we have a word, please?" a police officer interrupted them.

He had come to talk about the shooting, of course. Alan swallowed something and nodded, before getting up to go with him.

Edit wondered what would happen to him; if the police would let him off easy. She hoped so. Even if his actions were stupid tonight, he didn't deserve to go to prison.

She shifted in her seat, letting her head rest against the wall behind her. This was going to be a long night….

 _They were in her bedroom at Adriana's house, preparing to go over to Alan to tell him of their reuniting, when he put on his seductive mode again. She had been rummaging around, when he suddenly came to stand behind her. He wrapped his arms around her, while pressing kisses to her cheek._

" _Thomas, as much as I would love to repeat our actions from our cabin on the ship, we can't. We can't keep Alan in the dark any longer," she smiled._

" _I understand that. I just can't stop thinking about that spot on the inside of your thigh," he breathed in her ear._

 _Shivers ran through her at his smooth, velvet voice._

" _What spot?"_

 _One of his hands travelled down to the exact spot he was talking about and began touching her through her dress. "That spot right here. It's almost like a freckle and shaped like the moon. I want to slide my lips over it," he whispered._

 _Edith groaned. She had to ask!_

" _Not now, Thomas!"_

" _I want to have you right here, with Adriana in the kitchen, having no idea what we're doing."_

 _His lips were close to her ear, making sure she captured every word that he said. But she heard them, all right! God, that man played his voice like an instrument and it set her on fire!_

 _His hands suddenly hiked up her dress, until his fingers could reach her undergarments. He carefully began to stroke her, making her blood boil inside her like hot, liquid lava. The window was right in front of them and Edith peered outside for a moment, realizing how erotic it was to have Adriana in the kitchen and all those people out in the streets. They could look up at any moment._

" _How does it feel, Edith?" he wanted to know._

 _His fingers now slipped inside of her garments, having no restrictions any more. He took advantage of that fact and teased her little nub. Edith's rear pushed back into him on its' own accord, groaning as she could feel his erection brushing against her. She moaned._

" _It feels like heaven."_

 _Thomas chuckled behind her. "All right. And how does this feel?"_

 _He slipped one of his fingers inside of her._

" _It.. Ah… It feels so good! But not good enough. I need to have you inside of me," she groaned._

" _Later. We don't have a whole lot of time, remember? Let me do this for you."_

 _He made good on his promise and brought her to the brink with his hand, before she toppled over…._

 _Suddenly, the room changed. She was back at the hospital and seemed to be almost floating towards a man lying on a bed. He was pale and looked as if he was close to being dead. It wasn't until she got closer that she saw that it was Thomas. She wanted to scream and cry, but couldn't. Instead, she lay down next to him and clung to him._

" _I love you," she whispered to him. "I will always love you."_

" _I'm sorry, Edith. I'm not going to make it," he told her._

 _At that point, her tears indeed started to roll down her cheeks. She softly kissed him and looked him in the eye._

" _It's okay. If you can't hold on, it's okay."_

" _A link exists between your heart and mine. And should that link be broken either by distance or by time, my heart would cease to beat and I would die. And you would soon forget about me," he quoted his own letter to her._

 _It was in that moment, that he let go of life._

 _Edith bawled as she answered him. "Never. I would never forget you…."_

"Thomas!"

Edith sat up in her chair as she saw several people eyeing her in a funny way. Apparently, she had yelled out in her sleep. Dread filled her as she remembered her dream. Thomas had said goodbye to her. Of course, it was just a dream, right? It wasn't the truth.

Movement next to her alerted her of someone's presence. It was a surgeon and he was walking over towards Peter and the doctor who had helped Thomas. Was this man operating on him? She immediately rushed to their sides.

"Doctor? Are you operating on Thomas Sharpe? Is he okay?" she wanted to know.

The surgeon had a weary look on his face. Edith didn't know what that meant, but it made her heart squeeze painfully in her chest. A soft sob tore from her throat as she took in the blood on the surgeon's attire.

"Please tell me that he's okay," she cried….

 **Author's note: Yes, I'm a horrible person for doing this to my readers ;-) Feel free to rant about it in a review. Haha! For those of you who do not know yet, I have another story up called: Love breaking through time. It's completely different from this one, but feel free to have a read. Thank you for reading this one.**


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